Free internet access

[Edward Glowacki]

On 23 May 2000, Ben Pfaff wrote:
> Edward Glowacki <glowack2@msu.edu> writes:
> 
> > *Looks nervously around the room for a modem*
> 
> "Look out, it's right behind you!"  --more--
> Modem hits.  Modem hits.  You are dead.  --more--
> You achieved a score of 42 in 3396 moves.  Play again?

Y

Create new character?  Y

Strength: 2000
Intelligence: 2000
Charisma: 4
Luck: 1

Character OK? Y

You are standing in a room next to a small box with blinkin' lights.
You are carrying a baseball bat.
There is an East here.

What do you want to do?  Attack modem with bat.

You hit.  You hit.  You hit.  You hit again.  You CRITICALLY hit!

The modem is undamaged.

What do you want to do?  Attack modem with bat.

You hit.  You hit.  You hit again.  You hit.

A scratch appears in the plastic casing of the modem.

What do you want to do?  Get chainsaw from pants pocket.

You get the chainsaw.

What do you want to do?  Attack modem with chainsaw.

You hit the modem with the chainsaw.  Nothing happens.
Perhaps you should start the chainsaw first?

What do you want to do?  Start chainsaw.

VROOOM vrooom putta putta putta vroom putta vroom.

What do you want to do?  Attack modem with chainsaw.

You hit.  You hit.  You hit.  You hit.  You hit. (ad nauseum)
The modem has three parallel scratchmarks now.
The modem laughs at you.

What do you want to do?  Get nuclear missile from pants pocket.

You get the nuclear missile.

What do you want to do?  Lite fuse and get away.

Fuse not lit, no matches.
Fuse not found, perhaps the nuclear missile has a timer you could set?
Nuclear missile instructions suggest not detonating the missile yourself.
Nuclear missile instructions suggest setting a timer.

What do you want to do?  Put nuclear missile on modem.

The modem is now wearing a nuclear missle hat.

What do you want to do?  Arm missile.

The missile has no arms.
You have no arms to give the missile.

What do you want to do?  Stupid parser!

Pardon?

What do you want to do?  Set timer for 5 minutes.

Nuclear missile timer set for 5 minutes.
4:59
4:58

What do you want to do?  Get away.

Away not found.
4:33

What do you want to do?  Run away.

Away not found.
4:01

What do you want to do?  Run east.

The East is already running.
3:43

What do you want to do?  Stop east.

East stopped.
3:23

What do you want to do?  Run east.

East is now running.
3:11

What do you want to do?  WTF?

WTF?: command not understood.
2:49

What do you want to do?  Walk west.

You walk west.
2:20

What do you want to do?  Walk west.

You walk west.
There is a modem here.
The modem is wearing a funny hat.
The funny hat reads: 1:51

What do you want to do?  Walk north.

You walk north.
There is a modem here.
The modem is wearing a funny hat.
The funny hat reads: 1:23

What do you want to do?  curse!

You swear loudly.
0:23

What do you want to do?  Pray.

What do you want to pray?  Help me please!

You pray, "Help me please!"
0:07

A divine force answers your plea.
An ethereal hand reaches out to the modem.
The hand takes the funny hat from the modem and
places it in your pocket.

You now have a nuclear missile.
0:00

Nuclear missile hits.  Nuclear missile hits.  You are dead.

R.I.P. You have been killed by a nuclear missile.
Your score is -27 points out of a possible 3,387,234,283,222 in 24 moves.
Play again?



-- 
Edward Glowacki			glowack2@msu.edu
Network Services		
Michigan State University