Joke

[Sean]

I hate to waste bandwidth with these but..


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YOU KNOW YOU'RE A COMPUTER SCIENCE MAJOR WHEN. . .
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Asked about your religion you reply "Unix";
You are your own nameserver;
You know what a nameserver is;
You think knowing C means you're bilingual;
You regard emacs users as the enemy;
You regard vi users as your friend;
You regard everybody else as DOS users;
You have installed Linux at least three times;
You load Doom so you can play DOS;
You write your homepage using vi and not some wimpy HTML converter;
The number of times you've used Windows 3.11 you can count on one hand;
You wish your brain had its own IP address;
You know at leat 30 ftp sites off the top of your head;
You think working at Microsoft is degrading;
You follow software version numbers the way people do baseball stats;
You check your mail at least 10 times daily;
You subscribe to mailing lists just to fill your mailbox;
Nobody sends you e-mail;
You've fake mailed somebody;
You know what ports 7,23,25,79 and 80 mean;
You do all your assignments the night before;
Your still trying to discover what that Formal Logic and Discrete Math
course was good for;
People walk up to you and say "You always seem to be logged in;"
You've hacked somebody's account;
You have made "free" phone calls;
You know root's password on some system;
You know root's password on some system that isn't your own;
You log in as root and proceed to go through your own home
directory deleting files for a power trip;
You log in as yourself and proceed to go through other people's home 
directories for a power trip;
You have told a freind "Gee, the security on this system sucks. Here let
me show you;"
Your high school comp. sci. teacher was an idiot;
You've lectured a computer teacher, pointing out all the mistakes they
made in their lesson;
You've done this in front of the class;
All computing activity must take place within easy reach of
caffeine;
You have drank beer and programmed at the same time;
You've written better code while under the influence of alcohol;
You have told a Microsoft joke;
You worry that if you drop out now you'll become another Bill Gates;
Your comp. sci. TA gives you low marks because they are jealous of our
superior programming abilities;
You have downloaded dirty JPEGs before you were 18;
You remember unix passwords but not your bank card PIN numbers;
You can pick out a computer conversion a mile away;
You have beaten somebody up for saying "information superhighway";
You never date;
Your last girlfriend was on a CD-ROM;
You have more then 5 unix accounts;
You post all your unix accounts in your .sig file;
Your homepage contains the phrase "this Web page is still under
construction;"
You've worn your clothes more then once without washing them;
You have told an engineer joke;
You think engineers are a joke;
You cringe when an engineer uses a computer;
Nobody uses your computer except for yourself;
People have died for using your computer without your permission;
You associate GUIs with computer illiteracy;
You associate Microsoft with computer illiteracy;
Your mouse collects dust;
You can count in base 2 : 2,4,8,16,32,64,128,256, 512,1024,2048,4096,8192;
Your hard drive is all neatly organized but everything around your
computer  is a mess;
There are at least 6 empty Coke cans surrounding your computer;
You haven't seen sunlight in the last 72 hours;
You think Star Trek is real;
Everybody thinks you are weird;
Everybody else is weird and your normal;
You have collected at least 200 computer viruses;
You wrote 50 of your viruses;
Root has sent you mail asking what were you doing;
Sys. Admins snoop your tty sessions "just in case;"
You snoop your sys. admin's tty sessions "just in case;"
You wrote your resume in PostScript;
You ftp'ed all your Linux disks;
You only read the manual after you have screwed something up;
You never comment your code;
Your user documentation is just a print out of the source code;
You are thought of as a god when the computer goes down;
People engage in conversations with you just to realize how dumb they are;
You always make sure you have an ASCII table handy;