starting a mail/newsreader flamewar

[Ben Pfaff]

Saw this on alt.religion.emacs and thought it was too good not to
share.  Almost as good as the `ed is the standard text editor'
rant, IMO.

(Oh and of course it's all true.)

[snippage below]

------- Start of forwarded message -------
From: Alex Schroeder <asc@bsiag.com>
Newsgroups: alt.religion.emacs
Subject: Re: Mail in Emacs

Kai.Grossjohann@CS.Uni-Dortmund.DE (Kai Großjohann) writes:

> But if you believe that mail is very different from news, don't
> use Gnus. 

You got it all wrong...  Don't listen to Kai!  Gnus is great!  Gnus if
for Gnus!  Gnus is for the Gnus Generation.  Gnus is for YOU!  You
need Gnus like RMAIL needs beefing up.  You want Gnus because it
offers you all you can think.  Gnus will rewire your brain and make
you part of Emacs.  Emacs will use Gnus to communicate its divine will
to you.  Gnus will IMAP your virtual reality.  It will MIME type your
thoughts.  Your keyboard will be a posting style.  It will wash your
articles and your brain.  Gnus!  Gnus!  Gnus!  You will need Gnus
mugs.  You will need Gnus gnusgroups.  You will gnuse all your brain
potential.  Gnus is a gnusreader theophany.  Gnus is spirital gnus.
Gnus will feed your kids.  It will expire your troubles.  It will
score your beliefs.  It will treat your habits.  Gnus does it for YOU!
What will you do for Gnus!?  What would you not want to do for Gnus?
Gnus will replace mail.  Gnus will message your mail.  Gnus will
massage your back.  You will stand straight and bow low before the
mighty Emacs and his Gnus.  Get it while you can.  The pink light has
reached your thalamus and made it quoted printable.  The Big Bad
Download Brother BBDB will lend you his helping hand.  Your friends
will be part of Gnus.  Gnus is the ideal behind reality, other
software is but shadows on the wall.  MH and the others are sophists,
unbelievers, but eventually they shall see the light of Gnus.  Gnus is
the sun where RMAIL is but a flickering candle in the dark.  Gnus is
for YOU.

Alex.
------- End of forwarded message -------