Lansing area high speed internet access

Thu, 4 May 2000 10:00:26 -0400 (EDT)

This should be posted to segfault.

-Mark

On Tue, 2 May 2000, Edward Glowacki wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> GLLUGHIC
> --------
> 
> After much discussion and complaining about the availability of high speed
> internet access in the Lansing, MI area, the Greater Lansing Linux User's
> Group (GLLUG) has decided to step forth and do something about it.  We
> will now be known as the Greater Lansing Linux User's Group and High-speed
> Internet Consortium (GLLUGHIC).
> 
> Disclaimer: Our new acronym has absolutely *nothing* to do with the sounds
> associated with the consumption of alcoholic beverages, i.e. drinking
> noises (GLLUG) and hiccups (HIC).  Should one of our member employees make
> these sounds at any time, including while servicing your area, they are
> referring to the group and are in fact *not* drinking.  Really.  Ok, so
> maybe they are getting sloshed, but nobody ever reads legal disclaimers,
> so who cares anyway?
> 
> The Project 
> ----------- 
> 
> Everyone deserves reliable high-speed internet access at a reasonable
> price.  To this end, GLLUGHIC will wire all of the greater Lansing area
> with fiber-optic cable.  Our experienced crew of high school students and
> former pizza delivery drivers will be tearing up roadways, sidewalks, and
> front lawns to install fiber to each residence in the Lansing area.  
> Don't worry, all the major digging will be done by trained professionals,
> in this case a flock of remotely operated digging machines controlled by a
> bunch of 10 year old kids who have been told they're playing a cool video
> game (ala the movie "Toys", but with potentially less distructive
> machines, at least as long as they don't hit a gas line).  It should be
> pretty safe, I mean they're only digging trenches, and besides gas,
> there's only the electric, phone, water, cable, and sewer lines throughout
> the city to contend with.
> 
> For the last leg from the street to your residence, one of our expert
> designers, whose skill has been honed by years of connecting the dots in
> childrens activity books, will plot the fiber's path across your lawn to
> the side of your building (and likely it will be the side of your house
> that has the nicest flower bed.  Don't worry, those prize petunias will be
> back healthy and strong in a few years.)  Our crew will then descend upon
> your lawn like locusts, dig the trench and attach a small (6'x3'x2'
> HxWxD) fiber termination box to the side of the building.  There are 3
> different paint schemes to choose from: Polka-dot, Paisly, and Candycane,
> so you can select the one that's right for you!
> 
> Our goal is fiber through every flower bed, er, to every home.
> 
> Specifications and pricing
> --------------------------
> 
> Initial installation of fiber, including the external termination box on
> the side of your residence, will come at no cost to you!  Everyone will be
> wired!
> 
> Once the fiber is in place we can begin activating service for customers.  
> Pricing is still being worked out, but it will start at less than a penny
> per nano-fortnight for constant connection service! Bandwidth will be
> available up to a whopping 100 atto-yotta bits-per-second!!!  Tentative
> levels of service are*: 8mkbps, 64hbps, 48mMbps, 256mMbps, 1uTbps,
> 4uTbps, 1cGbps, and 100aYbps.  Due to the quality and quantity of fiber
> we're laying, we hope to eventually provide service in the 10pZbps range!
> 
> * Abbreviatons used:
> mkbps = milli-kilo bits-per-second (x1)
> hbps  = hecto bits-per-second 	   (x100)
> mMbps = milli-mega bits-per-second (x1,000)
> uTbps = micro-tera bits-per-second (x1,000,000)
> cGbps = centi-giga bits-per-second (x10,000,000)
> aYbps = atto-yotta bits-per-second (x1,000,000)
> pZbps = pico-zetta bits-per-second (x1,000,000,000)
> 
> And we're even having a special 2-for-1 offer!!! Sign up for the input
> fiber, get the output fiber free!!!  Communicate in both directions for
> one low price!!!
> 
> Note: Due to excessive demand, the Candycane painted fiber box will be $10
> extra.
> 
> How to sign up
> --------------
> 
> Step 1. Call 555-FIBER and give the operator all your information,
> including SSN and credit card numbers (more than one if you have them).
> Step 2. Send in your first months payment. Electronic transfer available,
> just ask for our offshore account number when you call.
> Step 3. When we get your cash, you'll get the service.  We promise.
> Step 4. Cancel all your other voice/data services, they're obsolete!!
> Step 5. It's that simple!
> (Steps 6-12 are available upon request for those that prefer 12-step
> programs.)
> 
> Special bonus:  The first 100 callers get their first month of Basic
> service, 8 milli-kilo bits-per-second of blazing fast internet, for
> FREE!!!
> 
> Call GLLUGHIC today!!!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------
> 
> Disclaimer: The existance of the GLLUG is real, everything else above is
> not.  I'm not liable if you believe anything I wrote. =)  Hope you enjoyed
> it!
> 
> -- 
> Edward Glowacki				glowack2@msu.edu
> Greater Lansing Linux User's Group	http://www.gllug.org
> 
> 
> 
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