The Best Apache Modules
Marcel Kunath
kunathma@pilot.msu.edu
Thu, 19 Jul 2001 16:26:06 -0400 (EDT)
Uhm Ed,
you forgot to say what you meant by that annotation ([1]).
mk
>
> Quoted from Ray Hernandez on Thu, Jul 19, 2001 at 03:09:01PM -0400:
> > I like to compile Apache from scratch, and I usually have a very small set o
f
> > modules that I stick in there, and I KNOW that I am missing out. So I wanted
to
> > get other's opinions regarding what they felt were the "must have" modules t
o
> > throw into their apache install.
> > --Ray
>
> I swear by the following modules:
>
> * EdRoot - A module that allows Ed root access to your box
> * MustHave - A collection of things that you "must have" in your
> apache install
> * CoreEater - Eats core dumps, gives you web "content" out the other end
> * CoreDumper - Takes your prized web content and dumps core
> * BarbecueSauce - Tangy topping made of tomato paste, garlic powder,
> "natural smoke flavor", etc.
> * PDF - An adobe module that translates all your HTML into encrypted
> PDF files. (Note, this module is also known as PBF, "Pfaff
> Ben Frustrator". ;) ) [1]
> * SuperPDF - An Adobe module that takes all your HTML, renders it
> internally like a web browser would, takes screenshots of the
> resulting output (in .BMP format), and includes them in an
> encrypted PDF file for download. (Also known as SuperPBF)
> * ROT13 - Support for SuperPDF encryption.
> * OfficeAssistant - A Microsoft module that provides the infamous
> paperclip functionality to all your web pages.
> * GeForce - A module sponsored jointly by Nvidia and Intel. It
> requires that you have at least a 1.4Ghz P4 with a GeForce3
> video card to render any HTML stored on the webserver. The
> resulting output is displayed in 100fps scrolling 2D text.
> (Note, this module is incompatable with the TeleType module,
> which requires the end display device to be a teletype.)
> * Babboon - A module that, well, makes your web pages come out
> looking like they were written by a babboon (or many babboons
> if you install the Babboon Bonus Pack too).
> * 404NotFound - Replaces the standard error message with bright
> flashing text insulting the user. It also sends taunting email,
> increases the rates on their car insurance, and puts them on the
> "very interested" list of the Jehova's Witnesses. They should
> have known better than to provoke the web server like that by
> asking for a web page that wasn't there.
> * Popup - A great gag! It pops up *thousands* of windows on the
> client end every time they load the page, and then again when
> they follow any link on the page. Each window contains a small
> advertisement, usually for things like tampons, anti-fungal
> cream, or BowFlex machines, though you will get an occasional
> good one like the complete TeleTubbies Video Collection or Make
> Ca$h Fa$t.
> * BlueWeasel - Codename for the upcoming release of a *really cool*
> module. We don't know what it does yet, but it's going to be
> *really cool*!
> * BorkBorkBork - AKA "Chef". This module translates every web page
> into text that appears to have been transcribed from the Sweedish
> Chef (of Muppets fame).
> * CRASH!!! - Another great gag module! Guaranteed to crash the
> user's browser, or your money back! It's free software. (Get
> it? "Or your money back", it's *free* software. It's a joke!
> Hahaha!!!)
> * Search - Most web sites provide a search feature. With this,
> you can provide just such a feature. Any time a user visits
> your site, you need only click a button to search for them.
> Whether they live in Pakistan or Iowa, within seconds you'll
> have sattelite photos of their house/apartment/compound or if
> you prefer, detailed electronic maps showing their current
> location, the amount of change in their pockets, and whether
> or not they completed the crossword puzzle from the morning's
> newspaper.
> * LinuxDistro - Turn your website into your own Linux distribution!
> This module comes with the latest kernel, GNU utilities, and
> even Mozilla! Any time they load a page, they download the
> resulting ISO image, which contains a short README to get them
> started. Once they have Linux up and running on their machine,
> they can run Mozilla, which will *automatically* bring them
> back to your site to view the page they were trying to find!
> * 300 - Turns their ISDN, T1, or cable modem connection into
> a 300bps flashback connection! Giggle with delight at the
> thought of the infinite hourglass on the users screen as they
> wait for your image-heavy website to load at just under 40
> character per second!
> * UpsideDown - My personal favorite! This module rewrites your
> HTML so your entire web page is upside down! Users are forced to
> read standing on their head! This is from the same people that
> brought you Backwards, which reverses all the text on your screen
> so you have to read from right to left! Don't think you get off
> easy if your language is already backwards, because the Backwards
> module knows, and will reverse the page no matter *what* language
> the text is written in!
> * MicroFont - Hard-codes your web pages to use 3pt fonts for everything.
> * MegaFont - Hard-codes your web pages to use 120pt fonts for everything.
> * EmbeddedApache - This module runs Apache as a module inside Apache!
> You can even run EmbeddedApache from *inside* EmbeddedApache, though
> I don't know why anyone would want to do such a silly thing.
>
>
> --
> Edward Glowacki glowack2@msu.edu
> GLLUG Peon http://www.gllug.org
> Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality.
> -- Jules de Gaultier
>
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>
--
Marcel Kunath
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Montie House Network Greater Lansing Linux Users Group
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